Girl Stuff
by Lyrical Rex
Summary: [Crack!Pairing. Rukia x Tatsuki.] Ichigo starts to wonder what he did to deserve being scarred like this. Seriously. Ichigo seriously starts to wonder... uh, yeah. [shoujo ai, girlxgirl, etc.]


**Girl Stuff **

**A Rukia x Tatsuki (or the other way around) fic.**

**Fear the crack. **

_For _Bourei no Hikari, _because no other person, male or female, has shown as much interest in the pairing as me._

_About: I'm like, in love with either Rukia or Tatsuki on her own, so why not push them together? XD_

_Other than that, I have this thing where I like crack pairings, but don't really like writing crack. But I don't **feel** right writing a crack pairing without making it crack. But then I decided, hell, Bleach is mostly crack anyway, so I went with the flow._

_How did Tatsuki and Rukia get together? I don't know._

_Set after Soul Society, but written in a way that their are no spoilers. Note: I think Karin does realize that Yuzu's Bostafu is actually the Karakura Lion. That's why he's shown talking in front of her in this fic._

_I'm sorry if it's horrible. _**T.T**

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Except for the kind I was my clothes with.

* * *

Ichigo was now sure that God (if He even existed, which Ichigo was also doubting by now) hated him.

What was God's deal? First he sticks him dead center in a conspiracy in another world. Then _Rukia_ (how ever much he liked having her around) had come back to _live in his house_ again. At least she wasn't in his closet anymore. That had been pretty awkward.

But now he couldn't even go into his room.

* * *

He had come home from Hollow hunting, walked up the stairs, and just as he passed his sisters' room, Karin said, "Tatsuki came over."

"Wha?" Ichigo asked, poking his head into the girls' room. "When? Why? Wha—"

("Oh look, it's Ichigo!" Kon said happily, toddling off Yuzu's bed and clinging to Ichigo's t-shirt.)

"She's with Rukia in your room."

("She's with Nee-chan?" Kon wondered. "I wanna see Nee-chan!" Ichigo got annoyed, and grabbed Kon by his tail.)

"What? Why _my _room"

("Stop it Ichigo! I wanna see Nee-chan! Wahhh! You're going to rip me apart!")

Karin shrugged. "Just warning you. They're probably doing you know, teenage girl stuff."

(Kon was tugged away from Ichigo's T-shirt, but promptly jumped to Ichigo's back. Ichigo just rolled his eyes and let the stuff lion stay there.)

Ichigo scoffed, turning out and heading towards his own room. "This is Rukia and Tatsuki we're talking about. I highly doubt they're doing anything—"

Ichigo slammed his bedroom door shut a split second after opening it.

(Kon's eyes popped out of his head as Ichigo opened his door. "Nee—!" Ichigo slammed the door shut immediately. "Wah, Ichigo! You're so mean! I want to join! IwannajoinIwannajoinIwanna—!" Ichigo threw him at the wall.)

* * *

Tatsuki and Rukia broke away from each other just in time to see a flash of orange hair disappear behind a slamming door, and someone yelling, "I want to join!"

"Shut up, you lecher!" Ichigo's voice snapped. Something soft hit a wall.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes, and leaned back with her hands supporting her on the ground. She sat cross-legged, with one knee up while Rukia was sitting on her heels not too far away. "What now? Do you think we should give Ichigo's room back?"

"No, he doesn't really need it," Rukia replied. Her hand reached out and brushed against Tatsuki's bare knee. "But I'm getting kind of hungry. Do you want a snack?" she asked.

"Sure, why not?"

"Hold on a second." Rukia stood up and went to the door, poking her head out into the hallway. "ICHIGO!"

* * *

It was mind-boggling. Really, just mind-boggling.

"—though it _would_ have been better if either of them had breasts like Orihime-chan, or that Matsumoto Captain Lady. Ooh, Orihime-chan and Matsumoto-taichou…. Mmm—Ack!"

"Shut _up_," Ichigo said moodily, punching Kon in the face. "The two scariest girls I know are in my room doing _gods know what_."

"They're still in their school uniforms! Don't you realize how cute girls are in school uniforms?"

"Shut _up!_"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!" Rukia's voice was yelling.

Ichigo looked at the stairs. "I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!" he replied, annoyed.

Karin passed him in the kitchen on her way to the refrigerator. "Keep it down, won't ya? Isshin will probably get excited. You know how that will turn out."

" GET US SOMETHING TO EAT AND DRINK!"

Ichigo looked at Karin. "Would you—?"

"You're on your own, buddy," Karin said, kicking the refrigerator closed and sucking on an ice pop from the freezer. "Don't forget that we still have dinner later." She clambered up the stairs.

"ICHIGO!"

"I'm coming!" he snapped.

* * *

Tatsuki stayed for dinner. "It's getting kind of crowded at the table!" Yuzu said cheerfully as she set out a plate for each person. Of course, Isshin and Ichigo were busy fighting while the four girls just ate their dinner. Finally, Isshin and Ichigo finished their fight, kind of bruised in spots, and sat down at the table.

"You know, we do have a guest over," Ichigo told Isshin, eye twitching. "The least we could do was eat dinner with her."

Every one else had long been done with their dinners.

"Tatsuki, would you like another slice of cake?" Yuzu offered cheerfully.

"Mm, no thank you," Tatsuki said. "I should be going home now. Thank you for making me welcome." She bowed politely.

"We're glad to have you over any time!" Isshin said ecstatically. "But if you brought your friend Inoue over, that would be much—"

Ichigo back fisted his father again. "You could at least try to sound like you wouldn't be ogling Inoue's breasts."

"Ehhhhh? I was inviting her _for_ you, my son!" Isshin said happily.

"What the—I don't need you inviting girls to our house for me!"

"Well, you never bring girls over on your own!" Isshin accused.

"I'll walk you home," Rukia told Tatsuki.

* * *

But, how could it _happen_? Ichigo thought moodily as he stabbed at the tempura on his plate. Wasn't Rukia straight? And he always figured that Tatsuki would only ever date someone who could kick her ass around the block; he always figured that she'd be more likely to go out with Chad; Renji seemed like her type. But Rukia?

He closed his eyes to breath, lest he hyperventilate and die right there. They snapped open nearly right away. He couldn't get the image of the two girls _kissing_ out of his head.

How was he going to sleep in his room_ now_?

* * *

Tatsuki and Rukia held hands as they walked down the street. Tatsuki was telling Rukia about her martial arts dojo. "You should join," Tatsuki told her.

"Really? You think?" Rukia asked sweetly.

"I know that under all that sugary sweetness is a tough girl," Tatsuki said, looking up at the dark sky rather than the girl holding her hand. "I've probably met my match in you."

"You sure have," Rukia said slyly. She squeezed Tatsuki's hand. "Hey, we're at your house."

"I know." Tatsuki smiled and leaned down for a kiss. "Goodnight, Rukia-chan."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Tatsuki-chan."

* * *

_Not actually sure if there'll be anything else. I doubt it's out of my system though. TBC? FIN? IDK.  
_


End file.
